Series of Self Portraits - part II

The Doll - pencil, coloured pencil, and ink

How do I feel? Well, there are a bunch of things I could draw and I guess I will update this post eventually with another picture some day. However, this picture has a story behind it and I would like to share it with you.

Couple of years ago a very dear friend of mine said, as a joke, to another friend of his, that I was a puppet who would do everything one said to me. That was one of the few times I actually was offended and mind you, I do not get offended often. I was very upset, because I realized what he said, was actually true. I was always trying to please everybody, make them happy with small favours, and I had never actually learned how to say no. It was that moment that opened my eyes. I realized I didn't have to please everyone, I realized I could be myself and say 'no' once in a while. I'm still not an expert in using 'no' but I have learned to use it to some extent.

In the picture there is no puppet but a porcelain doll. Porcelain dolls are the perfect girls, the normal and the pretty ones. I used to be like that even though I was the one with strange hobbies and weird and loud laughter. Nowadays I believe there is not much left of the doll.

I used ink, pencils, and coloured pencils in this picture. I had real trouble with the colourful part but I got it right, eventually.